Slumber

On dreamy worlds my eyes will now not close,

A trauma felt too deeply, causing fear;

It may be late, but I too will not sleep,

As where I trod in dreams has lost its love

For conscience mine—and wide-eyed, I shall muse,

And pain will flow like blood through waking dreams.

 

Thus now I dread th’approaching of my dreams:

My body tires, but eyes I will not close

Do gaze upon the stars. I quietly muse

As searing darkness comes. These dreams I fear

Are slaughtered hearts and death, and wasted love—

I would disdain the need for this night’s sleep.

 

Yet dreams as those I had do come from sleep:

A shining country built from yearning dreams,

Where I could run and laugh with you, my love,

And the suns would smile on us, and never close

Their brightest eyes to us. I had no fear

Of dreaming then—I had my lovely muse

 

Who’d spend the nights with me. But now I muse,

Afraid, alone, jettisoned from my sleep;

And pressing in from all around is fear…

Know, then, that only you have caught my dreams

And oped that heart that I did tightly close—

My mind was yours; I gave you all my love—

 

And you still keep that tightly. In this love

I live, my heart too pained for thought or muse.

…The night is here, and mine eyes do not close,

For I’ve no need for what all name as sleep,

But I survive on my now-shattered dreams

And also tears, and cold, bone-biting fear.


Oh! may my love for you not pass—I fear

That I my heart have sacrificed to Love—

I wish so fervently for old times’ dreams;

With you I fly, I laugh, I cry, and muse

And loved like those who needed not a sleep—

Oh let that chapter of our lives not close!

 

So now I do not close my eyes, for dreams

I fear, do not give peace—tonight, I muse

With lack of sleep, these passèd months of love.

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